(DIS)CONNECTED (for anyone having self-doubts)
Opinions are my own.
I recently came across a story about a boy lost in a dark forest, talking with a horse:
- “I can’t see a way through,” said the boy.
- “Can you see your next step?” said the horse.
- “Yes.”
- “Just take that.”Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse
It reminds me of my generation, those of us born in the 1990s and early 2000s. We deal with huge communication gaps, we feel lost among too many options with too little mentorship and guidance, and we carry a lot of mental weight. As I see it, there are at least three reasons: (1) the spread of the internet and virtual life, (2) the hectic pace of life, and (3) information overload.
Virtually together, but literally apart
Don’t get me wrong, I love how much easier technology has made life. Still, some people say virtual meetings are just modern-day séances. A bit of a stretch, but think about it. Sound familiar?
- “Hey! Is anybody there?”
- “If you can hear me, give me a sign (in the chat)!”
- “We can’t hear you, your connection seems weak!”
Personally, I’m all for talking face to face whenever I can. Video calls just don’t cut it for me. I can’t shake hands, hug, or really connect with someone through a screen. Online learning during COVID-19 was a prime example.
It’s so much better to be in the same room. Building trust feels easier in person, and getting to know someone over coffee is way more fun than endless texting.
So I’m really torn when someone tries to convince me that going virtual brings people together.
A hectic world: drowning in information and pressure
- “Dr. Moss, please tell me how you came to be an epidemiologist.”
- “I wanted to do something quantitative. I looked at economics and city and regional planning, and somebody suggested epidemiology. They had fellowships, and I was a single parent, so I needed the money. So I did epidemiology because it was in my range and it was fundable. I wasn’t particularly interested in it. […] nobody was in those days.” [Back then, antibiotics were new and infections were seen as largely beaten.]From an interview with Professor Andrew R. Moss (super long, but worth reading)
Quantitative and fundable, that’s it. Andrew Moss went on to become a world-class researcher in infectious diseases and HIV/AIDS. The way he explains his career choice is simple, but practical.
A lot of people my age don’t see it that way. We’re supposedly the most educated, best-prepared generation, and we’re (un)lucky enough to live in a world with an overwhelming number of options. We tend to overthink and overcomplicate things, especially when there are more options. We also expect to love what we do. And then peer pressure piles on.
I wonder what he’d tell a mentee today who came to him saying, “Professor, I’m not sure which field to go into.” So many options to weigh!
Solutions?
In this noisy world, I tried to (dis)connect while writing this post, and I failed. I also think a bit of repetition and boredom, at work or in life, is unavoidable. It’s like sharpening the axe. So I don’t push myself too hard. I’m learning to be patient, to not take things out on people, and to not measure my worth by how others treat me (I said learning, so I’m not always there yet). Maybe they’re just having a bad day.
But real solutions? I don’t know. I just know we have to look for them within, not outside. And I believe life is a game, and the thing about games is, once you get good at one, you can get good at any of them! Life is full of surprises, but there will always be a place for you somewhere.
Que sera, sera.