Valuable lessons from 2020
Last year brought a lot of change, both in the world around me and inside me. It’s not every year you get to live through chaos like COVID-19, and I learned a lot just from watching it unfold.
Seeing things more clearly made me love my work even more. The time I spent with my family, my colleagues, close friends and mentors this past year meant the world to me, and I won’t forget it.
I also stuck with my reading habit more in 2020. I used Goodreads to keep track, wrote a short review after every book, and set myself a goal of 30 books.
Looking back today, I was surprised to see I’d read 65 books, more than double my goal, and at times I was even among the top 10 reviewers in Vietnam on Goodreads!
Thinking about it, this habit is probably what helped me notice so many good things in life. Books can’t replace real experience, but they make it richer.
So here are the five best things I took away from my reading this year.
The Unfair Advantage by Ash Ali and Hasan Kubba
There were plenty of times I felt insecure and not good enough. This book pulled me out of my shell and made me see that everyone has some “unfair” advantage that makes them stand out. It’s different for each person: being tall, good-looking, smart, kind, or incredibly generous. So don’t just focus on your weaknesses, and don’t compare your weaknesses with other people’s strengths. Find your own “unfair” advantage, focus on it, and keep getting better!
The Art of Loving and To Have or to Be by Erich Fromm
Sometimes my relationships hit a dead end. I looked for answers in books and in what people further down the road had to share. The biggest lesson: “having” and “being” go together. If you want a good friend, be a good friend first. And one thing hit me hard: love is like a glass ball, beautiful but fragile. Once you drop it, you can pick up the pieces and glue them back together, but it’ll never be whole again.
Justice: What’s the Right Thing to Do? by Michael J. Sandel
I often got lost in questions like “What is justice? What’s actually fair?” Professor Sandel helped me answer some of them. Justice isn’t just about judging right and wrong, and fairness comes in different kinds, like “horizontal” and “vertical” equity. Whether something is truly just isn’t a gut call. You need many perspectives, the right tools, real experience, and a look at the reasons hidden behind it. If you want to know an elephant, look at the whole elephant. Don’t just touch the trunk or an ear and decide what it is!
Educated by Tara Westover
Honestly, I only picked this one up because Bill Gates recommended it. Tara’s hard road from rural Idaho to a PhD at Cambridge always came at a price. She learned how to learn, how to accept help from others and, last but not least, how to accept trade-offs.
Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect by Matthew D. Lieberman and Altruism by Matthieu Ricard
Food, water and a roof keep us alive, but it’s other people, and society more broadly, that let us really live. Hardly anyone can be forever alone! Being part of a close community makes us feel safe, protected and cared for. Emotions are contagious, so to build a happy community, we have to be happy ourselves first. Kindness, forgiveness, meditation, not letting anger take over: that’s the foundation of a calm mind.
I’m ready. Bring it on, 2021!